They Said

"I want my son to have more accomplishments than me", you said.

I want to get a little emotional here, for I can't keep these thoughts to myself.

And yet you're letting me down at all times. Every little accomplishments I've done, every step I took to greatness and success. You didn't notice it. You've never been proud. All you care about is major and noticeable success. I'm trying my best but you're pushing me harder, though I can't anymore because I'm tired from all the hard work I've done in a certain period of time. Yes father, yes mother, I'm pressured. I'm stressed out. I'm afraid.

A circus lion can sit on a stool built for humans in fear of a whip, and people can say these lions were "well trained", not "well educated". Same goes for most students/teenagers. Studying harder, working harder, though they can't anymore, for the sake of grades, for the sake of their own worth. But people still call us "well educated", still they didn't know what we went into, just for these numbers on a paper.

All these words, all these phrases, all the things you call me whenever I fail; I remembered all of them. I have failed as a student alright, I've failed as a son. I'm a failure. See? I can even say those words with ease for I can hear it every time I fail. For you may not know, every word you say, every day that passes, my heart is crumbling. I'm losing my faith for myself. I'm not feeling my worth anymore. I'm dying inside. I have no self-esteem anymore. I'm worthless.

As if I have never tried, as if I have not proven myself, as if I have never... been a son of yours. Each of us, one by one, becoming a robot. No emotions,  no feelings, no mood, nothing. We are forced to do what the older people want.

In school, I'm just a common schoolboy. 8th grade, second section. Not among the best. But I'm doing fine. The thing is, for them, it's not enough. If they were to be placed in the same situation as I am right now, would they say the same thing? Here's another thing: I love extracurricular activities. It's the only way I could catch up with my grades. They said, it's the thing that brings my grades down. No it doesn't you do. You bring me down. You bring my grades down. This isn't for me.

This led to more emotional stress and there it goes -- depression. Everybody hates it. You know what depression is right? A stage where you are full of regrets, sadness, hopelessness, emptiness, etc. It is where YOU FEEL WORTHLESS. Where feel no pain, because you are living in it.

And then older people jump into conclusions: Our generation sucks. We feel so emotional about useless things.

I'm just justifying ourselves, I don't mean anything offensive. But, YOU made us like this. We're helpless. YOU destroyed our generation yourselves. Live by our ways. Not yours. It's our time now. So please. Please. Set us free. Let us feel. Let us live.

"I want my son to have more accomplishments than me", THEY SAID.

-xtrmt

MAJOR UPDATE 2016

 Greetings Earthlings :)

Well, it's been almost a year since I last used this blog. But now, I promise; yes, I promise, <3 that I'm going to use this blog often. I want to sharpen my English vocabulary and article writing skills. So, yeah. Major update is going on.

As for updates, *clears throat* there are plentiful. Ugh. Do I need to recite? If you want me to fine *frowns*

Like I've said, there are many updates. Let me tell the "major" ones.

Language
I'll start using my native Language, since I sometimes find it hard to speak English. And it's way better to express what I feel using my own tongue, eh? Still, I'm going to at least, censor some bad words. I'm a good guy you know?

Interface & Look
I'm changing the interface. Removing FAQs and stuff, but I'm going to keep my "Articles" tab, duh. For the looks, I'm changing theme color. I'll also put some links to my Twitter and Facebook account, and a separate tab for my "hopefully" YouTube videos (non-committed guy here). I guess I'm sticking with my font... ? I'm thinking about it. And yes, more user friendly. I'm trying to lessen as many tabs as I should put as possible.

Theme
For f*cks sake. I'm changing this. I'm not sticking into gaming for so long. I've known and thinking about it for months. But the time has come, I have to change. I'll still stick into gaming and such, but I need to have diversity. Some people might say, "oh no where's the old xtrmt where is he?" and "this is not a good blog at all. You call that blog?". So, to conclude I'm sticking into making articles about gaming, PURELY reactions from me, and not news since there are some websites who has it better with newsmaking, and I'll make different topics, probably about anime, music, and life, and such? How about that? Seems good to me :)

Audience
Audience? Still the same. Only except not only gamers are expected to be here.


That's all I have in mind today, Earthlings. I'll update you guys/gals whenever I add something new. I'll publish the clean, new, and better website tomorrow. Thanks for your time. :)

-xtrmt

I've Been Busy...

First of all, I'm so sorry for not being active for like a week, it's because I've been busy. I forgot that I have some things to do with school so, I have to do them first. I got the time tonight so, I made this post! In the meantime, I've thought about 2 new topics, which are going to come out before this month ends!

I'm gonna go vacation on 17th of May until 23rd, so expect me not to go online again for a week. I'm gonna go to province again. I get to see some real cows again, too. (yey!)

Anyways, that's it for today, see you soon guys! 

A Name Change Perhaps?

I know I made the name xTrMs myself, but then I realized somebody has the same name as I do, whatever I do to make the name change its spelling it is STILL taken by someone. It's okay for me to have the same name with somebody, but the thing that pisses me off, is that they aren't even ACTIVE. Seriously? Get a life. A name change, perhaps?